The Need for Touch

There is nothing worse than not being able to comfort your child. Trust me, I know. As I write this book, I dash back and forth between the computer, my six-week old daughter and 18 month old son when they are in need of comfort. My training as a massage therapist has allowed me to investigate, through trial and error, different ways of comforting children. For the most part, the techniques contained within this book work. However, as with the joys of parenting, some things work some times, but not all things work all of the time. The key is flexibility and the creativity, to try new things when the old ways no longer work.

I have travelled, worked and studied in North America, Africa, Asia, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Micronesia and the Philippines. As I studied, learned and taught, I kept coming to the same conclusion; touch is vital to life. It creates the foundation for trust and respect. My travels have emphasised for me that we are born with the instinct and need to be touched. For some of us that instinct is nurtured and encouraged. For others it is neglected, discouraged or abused. Yet, the need remains. Babies who are not touched do not thrive and become listless. Adolescents who are not touched act out and look for touch in other ways, many of which are inappropriate. Adults who lack touch in their life also lack vitality, and many times also fill that need inappropriately. Hence without touch, none of us thrives to our full potential. We are left with an empty hole that is always trying to be filled. We are social animals and need to be touched.

The power of touch is demonstrated in another study done at the Touch Research Institute in Miami, Florida. Massage therapy was shown to reduce anxiety and stress hormones in infants. When the therapy was provided by grandparent and parent volunteers it enhanced the givers' wellbeing, as well as the children's, while providing a cost-effective treatment (Field, 1995). I have found, in my own life, that giving massage is as wonderful as receiving it, as it slows me down, relieves my stress and anxiety, and gives me time to reconnect with myself and others.

This book is a guide back to touch, back to the beginning when so many impressions are formed. The techniques are designed for infants to young children, focussing on touching our babies in healthy, loving ways and to continue that through their lifetime. Massaging your baby will ensure wellbeing, as well as give YOU balance and sensitivity and a greater ability to use your hands in a flowing, caring way. The bonding process will begin and allow for a stronger foundation for trust and respect in the future.

As with all good recipes, these are guidelines to be added to and Subtracted from depending on what you have in the cupboard, your mood, etc... The same is true for massage recipes. Think of them as guidelines that you add to and subtract from. Sometimes your baby will be more open and receptive to massage than others, thus allowing you more time to add different strokes, or to repeat the same one over and over. You will also find that your baby enjoys some strokes more than others, which is always subject to change. The important part is connecting with your child through your touch and thoughts. Let your hands be gentle and soft so they can feel for areas of tension and stress. Watch your babyÕs face for different responses: enjoyment, pain or discomfort. Have your intent clear in your mind, ie. are you trying to relax, stretch out or calm you baby. Let your focus be on your child and how you are touching them. If you are uptight or distracted your baby will respond to those signals. The more you are open to the process of touch and willing to experiment with it, the greater the possibility for connection between you and your child.